Jimmy Fallon doing Neil Young doing the Fresh Prince theme song. Brilliant.
- Hipster Girl: “Can you Shazam it? Oh my god! I just used Shazam as a verb!”
- Loud NASCAR-ish guy ordering a drink at a local bar: “Knob Creek, Diet Coke, tall glass, easy ice, turbo straw.” Turbo straw?
- Email from a co-worker on holiday: “Spain is very cool except for the fact that they are not really into schedules or things like that. For example, the soccer game I bought (expensive) tickets for, they just decided to move it from Sunday to Saturday so when I went to pick up my tickets they told me the game was yesterday.”
- Hipster Guy at coffee shop: “People wear Ed Hardy shirts when there is either no more room on their bodies for tattoos or they are too scared of needles to get a tattoo, so instead they wear shirts with tattoos on them. Classy.”
- “SPF 70? That's like wearing a lotion shirt."
- “They can't spell but they know how to insert cool symbols like hearts into their Facebook status updates. I love stupid teenagers.”
- “Once you go born again, you never go back."
- “I saw a guy on the Coastal Trail wearing short-short jean shorts, a red reflector safety vest, aviator shades and a cowboy hat. He was like all of the Village People at once.”
- “The only things that lead to good music are pain, love, heartache...and the Vietnam War. Love always makes for good music--except for hip hop. There's lots of good hip hop that isn't about love--hip hop has songs about real stuff, like guns and basketball.”
- 30-something woman looking at Facebook: “This girl was my biggest rival in high school. Her husband is hideous. That makes me so happy.”
- Dude at a party after a big college football game: "My bloody mary bar this morning was a rousing success. How do I know? Simple: look at my pants." (Note: his pants were covered w/red stains.)
With apologies to any of my friends and colleagues who were involved in organizing this event or who are planning to attend, I'm sorry. I just can't get excited about this:
Seriously. Can you even imagine a more boring group of people to spend an evening with? Lawyers, bankers and CPAs? That sounds like torture. And what's up with that clip art? Who decided that a picture of gold alien robots sitting on a bench with giant laptops was appropriate on an invitation to a "social event." At least there is a discount if you buy your drinks in bulk. Have fun.