12.19.2009

Overheard On A Trip To Talkeetna

Motel Roommate #1:  "The sign outside says "No Pets on Premise."
Motel Roommate #2:  "What does that mean?"
Motel Roommate #1:  "You can't tell any stories about your dog while in this room."

Young Professional Woman:  "Did you ever sleep with one of your interns?"
Young Professional Man:  "No, of course not!"
Young Professional Woman:  "If this was 20 years ago you totally could have."
Young Professional Man:  "Yeah, Linda Tripp really ruined everything."

Guy at Bar #1: "Is that Kid Rock?"
Guy at Bar #2: (without hesitation) "Yes."

Guy standing outside of that same bar after it closed: "I'm not big on technicalities, but everyone rocked tonight."

Guy at Brunch #1:  "I can't believe how much I drank last night. Thanks for filling in some of the blanks."
Guy at Brunch #2:  "No problem, Memento."

"After watching my wife go through labor, I finally understood why more women wouldn't have sex with me."

"You know how math equations sometimes use parentheses?  My friend invented that."

"My dad coined the phrase "Hostess with the mostess."

12.18.2009

Pun Of The Year Nominee

Erik: How long until this giant sheet of ice crashes through the window?
Me: We've got plenty of time, it's moving at a glacial pace.



Wouldn't Be Chanukah Without It


12.03.2009

Art Imitates Life

Recently saw this job posting at the local university:

ART MODEL

The Department of Art, a program accredited by NASAD, is seeking applicants for art model positions. Life model from which art students will draw, paint, or sculpt the human form. Art models must have the ability to pose nude in inspiring, aesthetically pleasing and physically challenging ways for students enrolled in art studio classes. Ability to pose nude in inspiring, graceful or physically challenging positions and to be able to hold these positions for extended periods of time without moving.

Salary: Depends on experience.

To apply please attach the following:
1. Cover letter
2. Resume and include contact information for three references.

I didn't know these jobs existed in real life! I thought they were just made up for sitcoms and movies. Also: references? Really? A reference that can confirm that you can hold an an "inspiring" nude position for an extended period of time without moving? I love this country.